Victoriameer Tanzania

Seven special places in Tanzania

Ukerewe Island in Lake Victoria

For hours I sat here, just with a beer while Msafiri was staying in the hotel with malaria. I am drawn into this peaceful state inside, which sometimes happens to you on an empty summer day. The water made small wave sounds while a few young lads are sitting on a few stones in the Lake, while I’m opening up for the silence that hangs over the water. A little paradise on Earth. Read more


Queen of the Hunt

Film tip!
To be seen this fall world wide at National Geographic Wild

We are currently on safari but shortly before our departure this beautiful nature documentary by Jochem van Rijs was presented by VPRO. A good moment to give some special attention to the Cheetah!

Jochem van Rijs has been making nature movies for 20 years. Queen of the Hunt is his third Cheetah movie. He has been driving thousands of hours in an old converted Landrover 200 over the Serengeti in Tanzania, Read more

If the heart of a man opens up, everything becomes possible

I am visiting Ikea with my son and his girlfriend. He found a room in Amsterdam and needs some furniture to give himself a nice start. His girlfriend points her finger at a small wooden table, which appears to fit very well in preschool. He doesn’t like it at all but I can see his resistance to say no to her. Finally he realizes it’s his house and he forces himself to say this table is more suitable for the seven dwarfs in Snowwhite. Relieved I take a deep breath.

In Serengeti we lose a tire of the trailer. Read more

Cancer is the physical call for total self acceptance

From an early age you were exposed to thousands of adjusting suggestions from your culture, your family, your religion, your school and your peers. Because you completely were dependent on that environment you were extremely sensitive to those messages about who and how you should be. You will be, if you are honest to yourself, still be determined in your expressions by what others  might find about you. That way you are living the shaduw of who you truly are.

silhouette wilde hond

by Travis Bester

What thoughts are going through your mind? What is driving them? How many negative thoughts you have today? Are you telling yourself that you must be positive all the time and do you demand to be able to feel this every day? Are you telling yourself that you have to be strong and are not allowed to complain? Read more

Extatic singing and dancing with Masaï

The first time I got acquainted with traditional ongs of Masaï, was during the descent of Olmoti Crater in Ngorongoro Tanzania. During a three day visit of the family of the Masaï warrior that i sponsored to become a teacher, I was climbing its steep, overgrown slope together with him and his friend. On the way back they started to chant a rhythmic beat. The low range immediatly led to a more firm step. Enjoyed by the unexpected support during walking, I did several attempts to produce the same sound from within my belly but I failed.
Still it touched me deeply to find myself walking in the middle of the pure, wild nature of Tanzania at the rhythm of their ancient vocals.
Read more

Look! A man living with up to 148 women

We were driving by bus from Arusha to Ngorongoro when O, the Masaï guy I sponsored, nudged me and said: “look Alina, those manyattas (huts) against the foot of the mountain. An old man is living over there with up to 148 women”. His voice sounded to my idea in awe and it was not clear to me if this came out of respect or jealousy. He told me that a polygamous Masaï man with many women was a rich man. Not because he had so many beautiful women but because he has had in its possession sufficient cows to pay the dowry. I looked at the village, the dozens of shacks close to each other and I wondered what was happening indoors. Would those women be happy or squabbling, would he divides his attention right or withdraw certain women for it? I did not yet dare to ask O by that time. Read more

The “here and now” is no goal

Since Eckhardt Tolle wrote his popular book “the power of now”, the “here and now” became a goal for many of us. If you believe the “here and now” is the goal, you will easily believe that it does not matter what you do there as long as you are doing it in the “here and now”. In a way this is true. But it is important to understand that the here and now is not the goal but a gate. What’s behind that gate is unconsciously quite threatening to you. All reason for you to stay before that gate as long as you can. Read more

Masaï vrouw met baby

Vulnerable and helpless

Last week I have posted pictures of vulnerable young animals on facebook. You could see a small hippo sandwiched between two strong, caring, full grown hippos. You could see two vulnerable young grey squirrels searching for warmth and shelter with each other. We see a young baboon in the protective shelter of the arms and body of its mother. It is looking at her with innocent, interrogative eyes. We see a wildebeast mother who is desperatly fighting for the life of her calf, who has no chance on its own against a bunch of wild dogs. Read more

shadows of fear

Everything is running away for us!

Last week I ran through the dunes near Overveen in Holland my usual round. I applied on a House with two long-haired tabby cats, whom do not recognize danger. Thus, they can end up under a car any time and are preferably bottled up inside all day. They are of course real cuddly cats. Everything which could resist against me, like my own housecat likes to perform, is bred out of this type of cat. A long-haired hangs in my arms every time when I feel like it. Soon I start unintentionally getting attached to this behaviour in an ego caressing way. Read more

I need “nothing”

After several attempts to catch attention and care by the mother or father, brothers or sisters, a child will skip its needs after several rejections or when parents for different reasons fail to support its needs . It learns it is much better to long for nothing and maintain low expectations then to feel this pain of rejection or shortcoming. The child retreats into a kind of internal numbed emotional state and it will look something like this:


Photo by Patti Vaughn

From there this child has several options to be able to function socially like:

What else can I do?
Basically skipped desires and needs clear the way to focus on the needs of others to do whatever you can to fulfill their needs. You will be dedicated to soften, enrich, keep their lifes free from discomfort and even save them. You do not need much yourself and the balance between giving and receiving is totally lost. This unhealthy pattern calls for abuse and from a distance will look like this:

What else can I do?

What else can I do?

No one can hurt me
You do not need anything and soon you will notice that this is an extremely powerful tool towards other people. Where others make efforts to connect with you, you can allow your feet to dangle in the water. Where they crinkle to keep in touch, you will rise upright, keeping your distance and convinced of your own right. Where others negotiate, find new ways or solutions, you follow your own course unhindered by guilt or other bothering feelings. This unhealthy pattern looks possibly like this:


marcheren en domineren

foto door Adam Barnard

I desire nothing, I need nothing, I want nothing. Actually it makes no difference to me whether you are there or not, has the power to bring others in a position of powerlessness (think of teenagers). In case of a love affair, the startled loved one has a choice between two things, break off the relationship or slowly get mixed up in a unilateral relationship where the bounderies fade and the heart blinds to the painful truth that the beloved has withdrawn himself behind an unattainable armor. Nothing has so many negative power in life as to desire “nothing”. The world around them can jump up and down, pull, push, reach out, be loving, patient or show a respectful approach or even get angry, it makes no difference. Bit by bit their lifes can even change in a nightmare when the pattern gets narcistic characteristics.


ontspannen genieten

Photo by Arun Moharaj

Interestingly, it is equally true that longing for “nothing”  is the powerful basis which brings us back to our essence, that place inside where we are complete and therefore free from the alleged dependence on others. But where pain  changes this “nothing” to desire into destructive means of power and distrust rules, leads “nothing” to desire, by seeing that your desires are fulfilled, to relaxation, being present in the moment, openness and love for what and who is and therefore to better relationships with others.

During our safaris, we regularly do simple exercises to help you see that your desires basicly are already fulfilled. Can you imagine what your life looks like without the turmoil that unfulfilled desires create in your life?